The Red Brick Times

  Sunday, July 03, 2005

This is from a friend of mine who is about to become a judge out in Hugo, OK. Needless to say he is a little on the conservative side, but this seems to describe the current situation fairly well.

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons called morons and each assistant has 75 deputy morons and 11 assistant deputy morons, giving it an incredibly large atomic mass of 1045. The neutron and its morons are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. This element appears to be held tightly together by synergic forces called oxymorons.
Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant morons and deputy morons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each and every reorganization causes some breakdown of the moronic forces and causes the neutron to form a first assistant moron which an isodope. This synergetic characteristic of changing oxymoron forces into particulate matter and the transition and eventual promotion into morons leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it.

Posted 8:09 PM by A. O. (1) comments

       Comments:
  • It.....
    The sheer......
    Undoubtably.......

    Eeeks. Words fail me.

    Other than money, power, control and getting to wear a black dress, why is he bothering?
    # posted by Blogger Andy : July 03, 2005 10:11 PM
     
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