The Red Brick Times

I've decided to learn how to bake. My goal is to eventually be able to bake bread, which I realize is aways down the road seeing I'm starting out not even sure that my oven works (it does). I went to a dollar store and bought a few pans (two bread - two muffin) and a "meatloaf" pan at Target. I have cornmeal, flour, baking soda, baking powder (what's the difference?) and sugar, both regular and dark brown. I figure I'm open for business. So far I've baked two loaves of cornbread. Easy I know, but my second loaf was more complicated. It had bacon in it! Yum! Today I moved on to banana bread. I had what I thought were way more than enough bananas, but not so. The recipe (found on the internet) called for 2-1/3 cups and I barely made it. I used a ricer (yes, I have a ricer) for them. What a mess. The recipe also said to "prepare" the pan. Prepare the pan? I looked it in the eye and said "get ready motherfucker". If that don't prepare it I don't know what will. It's in the oven now. No aroma yet but I have high hopes.
Posted 3:45 PM by whatley (9) comments

       Comments:

Houston, we have aroma!

Baking Lesson #1: In spite of your best efforts flour's gonna get all over everything. Don't fight it. Be the ball.

# posted by  whatley : January 16, 2008 4:30 PM
 
Success! Kingdoms have fallen over banana bread this good!

Well, maybe not.

Baking Lesson #2: Yeah, you're gonna use a lot of bowls and cups and such in the process. An amazing pile of dirty dishes will be created. Don't sweat it. Just put 'em with the others.

# posted by  whatley : January 16, 2008 5:04 PM
 
Dear Russ,
While I appreciate the HEROIC dimension of your effort, I fear your solitary masculine lifestyle has distorted your perceptions.

Baking is as close as any male can ever come "having one in the oven". Preparing the pan is coincidentally a surprising similar process. Rather than intimidation, try a more seductive approach.

You will need a modicum of lubricant which is applied gently to the inner surfaces (take your time, enjoy the moment). Then the pan should be gently warmed, preferrably by a gentle massage. Lastly add your ingredients smoothly with just a bit of firm pressure.

Preparation can be, should be every bit as pleasureable as consumption. (or is that consummation?).

# posted by  jeichenlaub : January 16, 2008 10:56 PM
 
Hmm...
I always have been a "get ready motherfucker" kind of guy. Maybe this is why I have a "solitary masculine lifestyle" in the first place? Food (chuckle chuckle) for thought.

BTW: My perception distortion comes from many years of carefully applied psychotropic substances. I prefer to think of it as "perception art", thank you very much, and consider myself quite avant-garde for having thought of it.

# posted by  whatley : January 17, 2008 5:22 AM
 
I fully understand. I have always seen you as avant-garde, the outer fringe advance sentry against a intrusive and, too often, unkind reality. Nous vous saluons sentinelle vaillante de la nuit!

# posted by  jeichenlaub : January 17, 2008 10:26 AM
 
Hey! I'm a valiant sentinel of the night! Who knew?

# posted by  whatley : January 17, 2008 12:05 PM
 
Russ,
Bread is not so hard. Just know the parts and how they work and enjoy the journey.The Minimalist approach may be a good way to start.A video may help.

Good Luck

# posted by  A. O. : January 17, 2008 2:00 PM
 
Want to trade recipes? Meet you over the back fence and we can dish the dirt on everyone who doesn't agree with us.

# posted by  Andy : January 17, 2008 3:00 PM
 
In a few minutes I'll be munching on a bran muffin that I made myself. It has both wheat and oat bran in it (the recipe wasn't specific and you know me, "if it's worth doing, it's worth over doing") and blackstrap molasses. Came out great!

And Tony, that minimalist bread you suggested is sitting in a pot, doing whatever it is bread does, even as we speak. It's supposed to sit for 18 hours, which will be exactly when I get back from dialysis today. I just took a peek at it. It hasn't risen that much but there are bubbles in it, which I guess is good. The plot (and dough) thickens.

# posted by  whatley : January 24, 2008 4:33 AM
 
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